The National Council for Social Studies (n.d.) defines civil discourse as "a conversation in which there is multiple airing of views," and adds that these are respectful of the other person’s views. One of the roles UConn Extension programs provide is promoting civil discourse and building social capital, with the principles of civil discourse interwoven into programs. Extension professionals use science-based information, create spaces where diverse perspectives can be used, and encourage active listening among program participants. This means that programs including our Land Use Academy, urban and community forestry and 4-H Positive Youth Development, among others, all promote and foster civil discourse. Challenges with civil discourse can arise in homes, workplaces, and communities. Stress, sleep deprivation, and technology have all been shown to decrease civil discourse, and these stressors have been heightened in the post-pandemic era. By equipping individuals with the skills to engage in meaningful, respectful dialogue, we can strengthen communities and promote innovative solutions. 

Why is Civil Discourse Important 

Civil discourse is crucial for fostering understanding and collaboration in a diverse society. Its benefits include: 

• Encouraging mutual respect and understanding. 

• Fostering diversity, equity, inclusion, and justice. 

• Promoting innovative solutions by exploring multiple perspectives. 

• Building stronger community ties and trust. 

Through UConn Extension programs, participants practice civil discourse to navigate differences and build connections. 

Practicing Civil Discourse 

Civil discourse can be formally or informally integrated into everyday conversations, community meetings, and discourse in all settings. UConn Extension programs embrace the following tenets of civil discourse, adapted from the United States Courts (n.d.) and the Intergroup Dialogue Project at Cornell University (n.d.): 

• Analyzing our own implicit bias and taking steps to reduce it. 

• Evaluating our own behavior and goals. 

• Setting and agreeing to ground rules with all participants. 

• Purposefully creating a welcoming environment. 

• Listening to understand.  

• Allowing space for others to speak and waiting to speak. 

• Identifying areas of common interest. 

• Using “I” statements. 

• Accepting discomfort. 

• Separating facts from opinions. 

• Asking questions to understand. 

First, we need to analyze our own implicit bias and take steps to reduce it, as this will allow us to participate more fully in civil discourse. See the next section for more information on implicit bias. Next, evaluating our own behavior and goals is important because that can help us understand the objectives of civil discourse within a program or any other situation, and lead to better outcomes. This evaluation is ongoing during the civil discourse as well, and includes words chosen and behaviors while others are speaking.  

Setting and agreeing to ground rules with all participants is an important step that helps everyone take ownership of their behavior and agree to participate in civil discourse. Facilitators and participants leading civil discourse create welcoming environments that are a safe space, and not too heated by debate or so curt that it feels cold and unsafe to voice an opinion. Conducting civil discourse is more challenging without facilitators, and this may increase negative situations. Therefore, we recommend conducting civil discourse with a facilitator, or having participants share the facilitator role. Listening is part of creating a welcoming environment, and it’s important for the facilitator to listen to understand, as well as having all participants agree to this as a ground rule. Along with listening, allowing space for others to speak and waiting for them to speak is important, as some people may want or need time to gather their thoughts and ideas. Dialogue participants should not feel the need to fill quiet space. Identifying areas of common interest helps discussants to feel a connection with other people, even when their opinions may differ on a certain topic. This step is often done at the beginning of a discussion, so that participants feel safer with each other and can fall back on the common interests as the conversation progresses to more sensitive topics. Using “I” statements helps resolve conflicts and minimizes defensiveness in others. 

Those practicing civil discourse must be comfortable being uncomfortable, and while this tenet may not be needed in all conversations, there are times when it will happen. Pausing to breathe and review the purpose of the conversation can help navigate any discomfort. Facts and opinions often become interspersed during civil discourse, especially on topics that participants feel strongly about. However, it is important to understand when something is a fact, and when it is an opinion. Pause conversations to clarify fact versus opinion if necessary. Finally, asking questions to understand a person’s opinion, the facts, or background information about the topic is always helpful. These tenets of civil discourse provide a foundation for conversations on any topic. 

Informal Application of Civil Discourse 

Those wishing to practice civil discourse more informally can apply basic communication strategies recommended by Charles Duhigg (2024) in his book, Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection. He recommends aligning with your conversation partner and matching their communication style. This can be difficult if one feels that a person is at odds with their opinion, therefore, it is critical to listen and understand the person’s intent and values. Most conversations are one of three types, and based on making decisions, on emotions, or on social identities. During an informal conversation, a person should first strive to understand which type of conversation is taking place. Then, share their conversational goals and ask for the other person’s as well. These first steps help to build open communication, allowing discussants to share their feelings. Finally, the conversation flows better if the participants consider each other’s social identities as well. 

Implicit Bias 

Implicit bias refers to unconscious attitudes or stereotypes that affect our understanding, actions, and decisions without our awareness. These biases are automatic and arise from past experiences, cultural norms, and social conditioning, influencing how we perceive and interact with others based on characteristics such as race, gender, age, sexual orientation, or disability. Unlike explicit biases, which are conscious and deliberate, implicit biases operate at an unconscious level, leaving individuals unaware of their existence and impact. 

Humans have developed cognitive shortcuts that allow us to process information quickly and efficiently. In early human history, these shortcuts were crucial for survival, enabling individuals to make rapid decisions about potential threats or allies. The tendency to categorize and generalize helped people navigate complex social environments and avoid danger. However, in modern society, these same cognitive processes can lead to implicit biases. The brain’s reliance on stereotypes and grouping can contribute to both explicit and implicit biases, negatively influencing our judgments and actions. 

Implicit biases are not permanent and can be changed. Addressing implicit bias requires a combination of self-awareness, education, and intentional strategies. Reflective practices, such as mindfulness and self-reflection, can help individuals become aware of their personal biases. Recognizing and addressing implicit bias is crucial for fostering fair and equitable environments in workplaces, schools, healthcare settings, and communities. These biases can influence various aspects of life, including hiring practices, educational outcomes, healthcare decisions, and everyday social interactions, potentially leading to favoritism. Training programs focus on understanding and reducing these biases, while structural changes like blind recruitment and standardized procedures can minimize their impact on decision-making. 

Understanding and addressing implicit bias is essential in civil discourse, as these unconscious attitudes and stereotypes can influence interactions, shape conversations, and impact the effectiveness of dialogue. 

Diffusing Negative Situations 

Ideally, all civil discourse follows the tenets outlined above, but sometimes diffusing negative situations is necessary. Preparing for these situations ahead of time and having several strategies available can help shift the dialogue back onto a better path, whether it is an informal or facilitated civil discourse. A common strategy is facilitators or the informal conversant stopping the conversation and asking everyone to take a deep breath before continuing. This strategy often provides a reset, can be used multiple times, and allows conversations to continue. 

Some facilitators chose to use a formal dialogue structure when they know a conversation is more likely to lead to a negative outcome. Examples include speaker time limits, breakout sessions, and calling on people to speak. This preventative strategy, along with practicing it, can help the facilitator guide participants. Another strategy for diffusing negative situations is to pause the conversation, remind all participants about the ground rules, and restart the conversation once participants have an opportunity to reflect.  

Dedicated reflection time in a conversation is a preventative measure, as well as a tactic that can be implemented if the conversation becomes tense, although usually only in formal settings.  

Diffusing negative situations in informal settings often includes refocusing on the common goal, being open and vulnerable, allowing differing opinions, and respectfully challenging others while avoiding personal attacks. Negative situations will arise, and working through them provides experience and skills that will help in future conversations.  

Youth and Civil Discourse 

Research indicates that adults engage in civil discourse more often and employ more civil discourse strategies than adolescents. Many of today’s youth find conversing with one another challenging because they lack the skills and guardrails for in-person as well as online civil discourse, and Bail (2022) discussed how social media leads to polarization. Boulianne and Theocharis (2020) conducted a meta-analysis that found digital platforms can help enhance engagement when used correctly. In addition to the challenges youth face online, facilitators are not always present when youth engage in civil discourse in-person or online. Thus, youth entering the workforce require a foundation in effective communication and interpersonal skills. This is an opportunity for 4-H Extension Positive Youth Development programs to provide these skills and development opportunities.  

Society has a moral obligation to teach youth to engage in civil discourse (Crosby, 2018). When youth learn the strategies and skills to engage in civil discourse, they can work out difficult or controversial issues with their peers and co-workers. They will become adults with the skills to serve as productive individuals in their communities and capable of effecting change within their workplace or their community.  

The same tenets of civil discourse, discussed above, apply to youth, as well. However, developmentally youth are still maturing into adulthood. Their experiences, maturity level, and knowledge vary widely. As a result, their civil discourse skills are not fully developed. 

Youth engaging in online civil discourse need to follow additional tenets as well. Ignoring or muting someone’s post is the easiest way for youth to disengage in civil discourse. The virtual exchange lacks the ability to read the body language, tone, and other indicators of the individual posting to the forum. Also, someone can deceive the youth as to their real identity, age, political persuasion, or another factor.  

Since an online exchange is not face-to-face, there are additional tenets to adhere to. The way the youth responds to a post must reflect their response to the original comment as well as their personal response. The response may include adding their personal perspective, asking a question, or making new connections, according to the tenets previously discussed in this fact sheet. Online statements should be based on fact. However, determining the reliability of information posted online can be challenging. Youth are overwhelmed by the volume of information being directed to them by various media outlets, friends, coworkers, and adults and by having to constantly figure which of it is true, false, misinformation, or disinformation. 

Thus, UConn Extension representatives and volunteers need to instruct youth on internet safety, assessing the validity of online information, and appropriate civil discourse for online behaviors. Youth should also have ample opportunities with in-person civil discourse through 4-H and other programs. 

Positive civil discourse strengthens societies and creates better outcomes for all involved. Practicing civil discourse is a challenge but also a skill that benefits participants beyond UConn Extension programs, enabling them to build respect, understanding, and civic engagement in all areas of life. 

Additional Resources

Bail, C. (2022). Breaking the social media prism: How to make our platforms less polarizing. Princeton University Press.

Banaji, M. R., & Greenwald, A. G. (2013). Blindspot: Hidden biases of good people. Delacorte Press.

Boulianne, S., & Theocharis, Y. (2020). Young people, digital media, and engagement: A meta-analysis of research. Social Science Computer Review, 38(2), 111–127. https://doi.org/10.1177/0894439318814190

Crosby, K. D. (2018). Fostering civil discourse within the democratic classroom. AILACTE Journal, 15, 1–14.

Cunningham, W. A., Preacher, K. J., & Banaji, M. R. (2004). Implicit attitude measures: Consistency, stability, and convergent validity. Psychological Science, 15(2), 140–143. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.0956-7976.2004.01502010.x

Duhigg, C. (2024). Supercommunicators: How to unlock the secret language of connection. Random House.

Elie-Martin, S. (2024). Storytelling’s role in facilitating civil discourse and collective leadership (Doctoral dissertation, Gonzaga University).

Felton, M. K. (2004). The development of discourse strategies in adolescent argumentation. Journal of Cognitive Development, 19, 35–52. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cogdev.2003.09.001

Gilbert, D. T., & Wilson, T. D. (2007). Prospection: Experiencing the future. Science, 317(5843), 1351–1354. https://doi.org/10.1126/science.1144161

Gilbert, D. T., & Wilson, T. D. (2022). Prospection: The cognitive science of anticipation and its impact on behavior. Annual Review of Psychology, 73, 387–415. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-psych-010420-112936

Intergroup Dialogue Project. (n.d.). Intergroup Dialogue Project. Cornell University. https://idp.cornell.edu/

Kang, S. K., & Lane, K. M. (2016). The role of implicit bias in fairness and inclusivity: Strategies for effective management. Annual Review of Psychology, 67, 183–205. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-psych-122414-033400

National Council for Social Studies. (n.d.). Guide to civil discourse for students. https://www.socialstudies.org/sites/default/files/guide_to_civil_discourse_student_version.pdf

Schulten, K. (2020, September 21). Our 2020 civil conversation challenge for teenagers. The New York Times. https://www.nytimes.com/2020/09/21/learning/our-2020-civil-conversation-challenge-for-teenagers.html

Shaw, A., Brady, B., McGrath, B., Brennan, M. A., & Dolan, P. (2014). Understanding youth civic engagement: Debates, discourses, and lessons from practice. Community Development, 45(4), 300–316. https://doi.org/10.1080/15575330.2014.930692

Sypher, B. D. (2004). Reclaiming civil discourse in the workplace. Southern Journal of Communication, 69(3), 257–269. https://doi.org/10.1080/10417940409373305

UConn Center for Teaching and Learning. (n.d.). Difficult dialogues. https://cetl.uconn.edu/resources/teaching-your-course/leading-effective-discussions/difficult-dialogues/

United States Courts. (n.d.). Setting ground rules – civil discourse and difficult decisions. https://www.uscourts.gov/educational-resources/educational-activities/setting-ground-rules-civil-discourse-and-difficult